December 2010

December 2010

Friday, October 29, 2010

Tears and Dallin

When Dallin was 16 years old, I probably cried daily with worry for him. It has been a long road of learning, but now I only cry about once a month or less. I may hear a song, or see one of his favorite foods in the grocery store, or just be driving the carpools and I'll think about him and be sad. It seems like it's been a while since I've had tears, but this week when Jayce and I were reading books at bedtime, I opened this book: And saw this:
I don't know exactly why that brought on tears, but it did. That is his handwriting. It took me back to when he was three, four and five years old and we would read books for hours. And what I hoped then his life would look like now. One of the books that holds special meaning for us is this one. He knows it well. As a matter of fact someone read this exact book at a powerful seminar that Dallin and Mark and I attended together. I remember sobbing then. I also remember at that seminar, I think it was that one, that Dallin and I hugged and I never wanted that moment to end.

It's important to note that Dallin has a heart of gold. He is so tender and kind. These pictures from Caitlin's wedding give you a window into Dallin. Look at his face and into his eyes in every one. He is so caring and sweet with Jayce. He adores Caitlin. He loves us, his family.
Dallin was home for almost a week for the wedding. I was pretty stressed with seemingly unending to-do lists. He was calm and helpful. I remember, particularly, I was pretty stressed on the day of the groom's dessert we were having at our house. Dallin calmly jumped in to help, willing to do anything and everything. I know he thought my stress was silly and unnecessary. He is such a simple guy. But he also knew it was important to me, so he just quietly supported and helped.
I love and miss my beautiful son. The tears are flowing freely now. I hope he knows how much he is loved.

7 comments:

  1. I'm crying now too! These pictures of Dallin are priceless. We love you guys.

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  2. oh goodness.. love this. You are such a amazing mommy. I love the pictures of Dallin- you really can see kindness in his eyes. Love ya

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  4. I don't even know Dallin and I cried when I read this. He does have loving kind eyes and you are a wonderful Mother :) It is very apparent how much everyone loves Dallin back.

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  5. He does have pretty amazing eyes. I love those pictures and his smile! I sure do love Dallin and his family as well!

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  6. this reminds me of that song tears in heaven, except that im still alive. just kidding i love yall too; this really was touching mom, thank u, im always thinkin bout u too.

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