December 2010

December 2010

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Valentine's Day and Expectations

Mark always tells me I should teach a class called Husband Training 101. He says I trained him well. But that only works if a man is teachable. I am grateful he is. I remember many Valentine's Days and birthdays and anniversaries early in our marriage where I expected him to read my mind. I thought he would just know what I expected, I mean we had been married for ___ years...he should know! Well, I then discovered that wasn't fair; I can't expect him to read my mind. I had dreamy expectations for a lot of things...and I still do. Years ago I would say, "If you have to go out ON my birthday or ON our anniversary to get a little something for me, don't bother. It's about the time you spend thinking about me and what might make the day special. By then, I know I was thought of just briefly enough to hopefully keep you out of the doghouse. Nope." Even though I was communicating my expectations, we still spent many years where I would end up disappointed and he would feel bad. One year, nearly 20 years ago, we were very tight on money and he surprised me with a little necklace with a pearl on it. That blew me over because he is far too practical for jewelry. But I LOVED that he thought about me and that it WASN'T practical. There have been other years, like the year he bought me something very practical that I running GPS watch. But, I feel bad because a lot of times husbands just can't win. The expectations are so high, and even though he is well meaning, the day still ends up a perceived failure. Well, no more because I communicate what I want now and I expect far less. He does what I want and usually a little something more. I love little surprises, but I mostly love surprising him with little surprises. It's just fun and life should be fun in a marriage!

So, I asked for flowers, a bracelet, and some cupcakes from the lady who made them for Caitlin's reception. I arrived home from Houston on Valentine's Day and I imagined something romantic like him bringing me flowers at the airport. But he didn't. But, that's okay, he had them at home waiting for me. And he did great at picking me out a little bracelet I love. I have never worn much jewelry...too many years of raising babies that want to gnaw on it. But I do love it, even if it is impractical. And the cupcakes will have to wait. And I'm fine with that.

And this Valentine blog would not be complete without this: Jayson's sweet little friend, Loraya brought this over for him. Isn't it SO cute! And wrapped inside was a box of sweet tart hearts.

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